BayouBuzz in the Green Room...

Section: Votenews

BayouBuzz.com

Once again, somehow that wily Bayoubuzz Bee flew into the pre-debate “Green Room” and overheard the mumblings among the leading candidates for Governor. Only this time, the talk did not include Mayor C. Ray Nagin who opted to stay home in Texas, and not participate in the election. So, this is what the Bee is reporting, word for word. The participants of this secret meeting were Bobby Jindal, Foster Campbell, Walter Boasso and John Georges. And you, our lucky Bayoubuzz readers now have the exclusive and inside scoop:

Jindal: Look, you corrupt fat slob, you have no plan to turn Louisiana around and yet you go around the state telling everyone lies about me.

Campbell and Boasso: You talking to me? Oops, sorry Foster. (Foster Campbell interrupts since he assumed the sting was meant for him)

Campbell: Who is this guy? I know I’ve seen his face before somewhere. Is he an intruder or one of those third-tier gubernatorial candidates? I thought only us big shots get to debate.

Jindal: Jesum, Campbell, don’t you read the papers? I own this place. I call the shots. I’m going to make “mince meat” out of this bunch of corrupt bunch of clowns. Then, after I win, I am going to turn the “Queen Bee” lapel symbol into a cross overlapping the State of Louisiana. Face, it. It has been ordained. I’ve talked to the top man last night and we have it in the bag.

Georges: Bobby, you mean your pollster, tell me what are your new numbers. I still have pieces of my plan I need to fashion and I will share information with you if you do the same. After all, I am a businessman first and a politician second.

Jindal: No, John. I talked to the real man. The guy upstairs. Not the fourth floor Capitol upstairs but the man above the stairway to the heavens. And he told me, if I pray and wish happy thoughts, an angel will get his wings and I will get the Governor’s crown. And besides, don’t give me this businessman crap. You have contributed to republicans and democrats all your life. You did not get the endorsement despite your money and instead of being a good republican, you bolted, so I don’t do business with renegades.

Boasso: Yea, Bobby, hit him good tonight. He is running these beautiful Mansion ads and I am doing the dirty work attacking you. So, it’s time you go after him. Eventually, that’s what I am going to have to do—go after you and Georges, but you can start it off now. In fact, I'm thinking of a hummer of a commercial Get this, you and Georges get out of a Hummer as clowns and I show you on the paying end of campaign expenses not knowing if you are funding your gubernatorial or congressional run. And, I show Georges on the "spending end" paying those repubs and demos so he can get political stroke. The idea that John Georges is all business is laughable. He is been in the game ever since I remember.

Campbell: Yea, that’s what I’ve been saying all along. I am the real democrat. I care for people. I cry for them. That is why I am soaking the oil and gas companies who are already making record profits and it won’t cost us a dime and those guys aren’t going to Texas. They cry a good game, but, in reality, they are staying put, right here in Louisiana. It’s what I going to call an “oil well in every pot”. Like it?

Georges: Foster, as a business man, I am going where the action is good, and if you hit me with taxes, I am finding a better mansion. Look, I’m a “turn-around” artist. I make businesses into what they weren’t. I will do the same for the Louisiana government. That’s why the state needs me. We need to turn this place around and with record revenues and sound fiscal policy, I’m the guy.

Boasso: Excuse me John. They need your corporate tax dollars not you as Governor. You have no political experience. If we learned anything from Nagin, politics matters. You can’t be a political neophyte. Take me. I swing from both sides. Politically, I mean. First, a demo, then a pub, now a demo. I can do deals with anyone.

Jindal: Which is where I come in. Look, I am no fool anymore. That’s what the big Father told me last night. So, let’s make a deal. I am close enough to hit the big top on the first round. This election belongs to me, like I told you, it’s been ordained. How many of you had the foresight to run concurrent gubernatorial and congressional campaigns, make nice with your enemies and lead the pack almost hands down. There’s room for you guys in my administration. John, how about Economic Development? Walter, you can be chief of staff or legislative liason. Foster, uh, I won’t oppose you if you run for Public Service next time. See everyone wins. That is the basic precept I live by—“do onto others so they can do on to you”.

Boasso: Hold on Bobby. You threw that man on the streets. You are in the insurance guys pockets. You are a worse opportunist than me. I want more than Chief of Staff or some lowly legislative liason position, or else, it’s “runoff time” buddy. Don’t give us this “ordained” crap” I want something with real meat. Like first lady. Or better yet. I’ll convert to Republican and run against Mary. Then, you will have both John Kennedy and me. So, as I think about it, and forget the first lady stuff.

Georges: Walter, I am the deal maker here and I say no deal. I am not going to give up millions and be a bureaucrat. Besides, I’ve got positive media all over the place, am growing in the polls and come election time, you guys are going to be beating each other up and the one pretty guy standing will be me. My pollster says I can win. Ray, Roemer, Foster and Breaux turned it around in two weeks. It’s “Join the Georges Revolution”. All I need is for the media to start telling the truth about me and I will pick up some endorsements and then before time, Georges will be Governor.

Jindal: Not so fast, John. Look, like I told you, but like I told you, this election has been ordained. But, forget the religion stuff you guys love to bring up. I have the GOP and the PACS. You demos will split the blue vote. And John, you are an Independent. Who the heck ever heard of an independent Governor. My god, sorry, gosh, we don’t even have “independent” Attorney Generals. They are all beholden, so what makes you think anybody is going to vote for a politically independent Governor? Louisiana has had only one independent legislator.. Do a reality check. You guys are smart. You don’t have a Chinaman’s chance. In fact, I’ve got Harry Lee in my corner. And, he is especially powerful since he is sick. Man, he raised over 500,000 dollars at his big shin dig. Who do you guys have in your corner?

Voice from LPB: Guys, two minutes until debate time. Are you ready?

Campbell: You mean, this wasn’t televised? Shucks!

We’ll let you know when our Bayoubuzz bee sneaks into the next debate green room. The more we listen behind the scenes, the more we get the real stuff. Until next time…